But we cannot be sure of the true source of this perceived happiness, meaning that perhaps there is no need for it to be in our possession. Our emotions are sometimes influenced by external factors, and the scars inflicted upon us externally can have serious effects on the inside.
Someone said to a group of us with great sincerity, ‘Don’t let your emotions control you.’ I brushed it aside at first as I thought it made no sense. They’re my emotions, so why shouldn’t they control me? It felt like I was being told to distrust my thoughts and second guess my gut instincts. It’s difficult because I spend so much time with my emotions. In other words, I always write down what I’m feeling.
But I kept hearing it, on social media, in church, from my mum… I shouldn’t let my emotions control me. After some time I began to understand what people meant.
When we let our emotions control us, they have a great impact on our behaviour and actions. We can end up acting upon them – leading to situations that we don’t need to be in, and making a mess of things.
Life isn’t easy and we go through a lot. We want to be a part of certain groups and fail to do so, and we want to feel less lonely than everyone around us seems to feel. If people are in relationships, sometimes we want to be in a relationship too, and if they are happy, we want to be happy too. However the desire to be as happy as others seem can lead to us blindly chasing what we believe made them happy – whatever it may be. But we cannot be sure of the true source of this perceived happiness, meaning that perhaps there is no need for it to be in our possession.
Our emotions are sometimes influenced by external factors such as this, and the scars inflicted upon us externally can have serious effects on the inside. As the way we feel can control our actions, we become impulsive. We may end up chasing the wind, and finding ourselves in the same position or worse at the end of it all.
Despite this, it’s important to understand that you should still allow yourself to feel your emotions. When you miss someone, allow yourself to feel that. And when you feel empty or sad, don’t try to stop yourself from feeling that. Ignoring these feelings can lead to their suppression, and sometimes they transform inside, emerging as something unrecognisable and worse than what they were initially. For example, supressing anger towards someone can turn into toxicity towards a certain type of person when initially you were angry with just one person.
Don’t let your emotions control you, but do let them be felt.
We all ask each other for advice, and whenever people ask me I tell them to write about their emotions, as trivial as it may sound (I believe it’s best to advise on what you’re sure works for you). It has really helped me to reduce their control over me. I’ve become more introspective and understanding. I’m less impulsive and I think more before jumping into situations.
Don’t supress your emotions, but divert them and use them to fuel your self-improvement. You will look back at what you’ve written and see how much you’re actually getting through. You’ll see that if you got past the difficulty of A-Levels, you can get past the difficulty of university.
A lot of the time we are getting better, but we don’t see it because we hurt more when we’re low. But when you write, you’ll see your improvement. And the feelings of under accomplishment and the like will have less control over your decisions.
Emotion control: you can master it all.