“Today I realised that when what I do gets no attention, I must consider that perhaps I’ve been doing it for myself all along, and this was necessary – the way it was meant to be.“
It’s one of the things that you forget about when it matters the most. You may only remember it at the height of worry, self-hatred and loathing.
You may realise, that a lot of what you dislike about yourself is an indirect result of what you like about other people. For some reason, the presence of their strength only highlights your flaws, as if you’re meant to be two peas in a pod – when really, they are someone you just saw online, or someone in your life who is so similar to you that they might as well be a reflection of you – an incomplete one at that, since right now, you have placed them in a category above yourself. Nonetheless, their proximity to who you are or who you want to be is actually irrelevant. You just forgot that.
You forgot that you should not be intimidated by façades, as much like the people around you, there is a polished version of yourself that you present to the world, the acceptable and most ideal version that is available. Somehow you forgot that other people are also presenting their best, fake, and aspirational selves, and you’re allowing yourself to be intimidated by them!
This is a sad story that we’re familiar with, and if you’re not, I admire you because I’m not there yet. It’s truly frustrating when you forget about what matters when it matters the most. I forget that when I compare myself, I am chipping away at my happiness. I also forget that holding myself back in the fear of failure and disregard is in fact stopping me from ever having anything to hold or improve on.
Today I realised that when what I do gets no attention, I must consider that perhaps I’ve been doing it for myself all along, and this was necessary – the way it was meant to be. This is a way for me to understand that attention doesn’t hold any value, and that not everything I do must be done in the hope for commendation and awe. That’s what matters when there is no one looking my way and I’m consequently being overly critical of myself.
When you’re restricting your potential, what matters is the fact that if you don’t start now, who knows when you will? You should start. What matters when you feel insignificant is the fact that the only noteworthy significance is the one that you acknowledge about yourself. Now it doesn’t matter how people perceive you.
So, do not be intimidated by façades, because what matters in that moment of intimidation is that it is indeed a façade – it is hardly real. And even if it is real, it’s not a cue for you to feel small.
Every time your hope feels lost, shift your focus to what actually matters in the moment. You’ll dispel many myths about who you are and what you should truly be concerned about, and your mind will feel just a bit closer to free.